Who would've ever known that I would give birth at 30.1 weeks to twin boys. I never thought that I would be a mom to twin boys or did I think that God would choose me to be a mom to boys in the NICU. I was always taught, and it's written that we are never given more from God than we can handle.
I am currently a mom to a wild bright-eyed baby boy already who will be 20-months-old this week.
My husband and I have been faced with a lot of challenges this past year from my mother being diagnosed with breast cancer (she is in remission now... thankfully), to my sweet mother-in-law passing away unexpectedly in December and other personal challenges. Then, on March 2nd, 10 weeks early, our twins were born into the world after docs realized they couldn't stop my labor. In a matter of 10 hours, I kept contracting and dilating (0 cm to 5 cm). At 12:35 pm and seconds a part, our world was forever changed for good! We are now 3 weeks, 3 days into our NICU journey with the boys, and we are looking at four more possible weeks with them being there.
I'm learning physically, emotionally and spiritually what is to be strong for my family on top of being strong for our twins. There is no handbook to "getting through" the NICU journey.
- I could cry because right after child birth, I was able to hold one boy and not the other just yet because one twin needed a little more assistance from the doctors.
- I could cry when skin-to-skin was cut short after labor & delivery. I had to be wheeled away almost immediately to recovery, and the twins needed neonatal assistance.
- I could cry every time I walk through the main hospital doors seeing moms and babies being discharged right at the entrance.
- I could have cried the day we were discharged from the hospital, only to have the nurse open my car door for me and not place my babies in their carseat in the back seat or for that matter, not even have the car seats in the car.
- I could cry each time I pump to supply breast-milk to my babies because I can't nurse them yet.
- I could cry when the nurses tell me we will feed them milk through their feeding tubes for the next 24 hours because both boys aren't doing well with bottle feeding and are spitting up their milk to much.
- I could cry when the nurses tell me I can't hold my babies tonight because their body temperature isn't 98.0 and above.
- I could cry because my first born hasn't met his brothers yet.
- I could cry, but I'll be strong because this challenge is keeping me strong for my family.
Thank you for letting me share my NICU story. -Brittany